When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I had so many emotions and thoughts coursing through me. Was I going to be a good mom? Will I be able to provide everything she needs, both physically and emotionally? Am I going to be able to go to school, work and raise her? Do I want to hire someone?
The further I got into my pregnancy, the clearer these decisions appeared. I have been enrolled in school for quite a while and have been attending every semester. I was close to getting where I wanted to be. The hubby and I had a long conversation and I decided that once she arrived I will stop working. However, I knew making money was crucial. I took two semesters off and worked 60+ weeks. Then when she arrived on April 17th, I quit my job and re-enrolled for the following fall semester.
I’m currently in my fall semester and taking three online courses. I no longer work and my husband works to support the three of us. Before you pass judgment, ask yourself if this impacts your life. All families have their own dynamic and this is ours. I’m grateful to have this wonderful man by my side who supports my goals and wants to help me achieve them. He has goals of his own and every step he takes brings him closer. We know what we’re doing, we talk about our problems and find solutions for each of them.
So, what is life like as a stay at home mom? It’s not as easy as many people think. I have my husbands help, but I do most of it on my own. I’m up around the clock taking care of our daughter. I cook, clean and find time to do my homework, study, and complete a mini-workout. Sometimes I get lucky and can wash my hair. As a stay at home mom, nothing about my day is mine.
I cherish the fact that I get to stay at home and spend time with my daughter, but sometimes it’s hard
Many people wonder why stay-at-home moms are always so tired. Why do we lack energy if we are at home all day? It’s because we are raising our kids and taking care of our family. You may think it’s all about soaps and eating cupcakes. Unfortunately, it’s not. Every day of my life, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, my life revolves around someone else.
My daughter goes to bed at 8pm every night. During that time I try to sleep. Does it happen, no? I’m half asleep and half awake. Every sound or move she makes, I’m up. She wakes at 1:15am, like clockwork for a bottle. She drinks 6oz and then I put her back into her crib. Hubby is so tired and such a heavy sleeper, that I have to be alert. She wakes up at 7:30am when dad is leaving for work and I give her another bottle. After that, she’ll fall asleep for about an hour. During her nap, I check my emails for new assignments and make a to-do list for the day. Then I have to decide, do I just wake up and embark on my day or do I try to get some sleep until the very second she wakes up again and then play catch up. She takes three naps a day if I’m lucky. Each nap usually lasts 30-45mins. During her naptime, I try to cook, clean and maybe knock out an assignment or two.
She takes three naps a day if I’m lucky. Each nap usually lasts 30-45mins. During her naptime, I try to cook, clean and maybe knock out an assignment or two.
“As a stay-at-home mom, nothing about my day is mine.”
I don’t just eat when I’m hungry anymore — haha, nope, I have to make sure she’s fed, clean and entertained while I raid the fridge for something somewhat healthy and then do the baby-bounce thing while I hold her and shovel food into my mouth as quickly as I can.
My body isn’t even mine anymore. I’ve shared it in more ways than I can describe. From creating life to breastfeeding. It goes on. I can’t even enjoy my hot cup of hazelnut coffee in the morning anymore. Every time I pour the coffee into the cup, I send out positive vibes into the universe that I’ll be able to finish the entire thing before someone starts crying.
Getting my assignments done is a battle. Again, I have to make sure she is happy fed and engaged. Sometimes, she’ll let me get a good percentage of it done and sometimes I have to hold her. It’s difficult typing up a paper when there is a tiny human on your lap, slapping, drooling, and destroying your keyboard.
Anais is beginning to crawl and is all over the place, I have to keep an eye on her. She eats 3 times a day and feeds about 7 times a day. I’m always on my toes with her. This is also a crucial time for her development. I can’t just put her down and walk away. I read to her at least once a day, sing a few songs, and just interact with her in general. She is still a baby after all and needs to be nurtured and taught.
It doesn’t end there. My husband works late, so if we need a few groceries, supplies for the house or anything else, I have to pack her up and drive to the store. Before having a baby it was so easy to pick up and go. Now, I have to pack a diaper bag with wipes, diapers, at least two bottles of formula, 2 bibs, a burp cloth, her favorite toy and her favorite blanket. Sometimes I even left the store early because she wasn’t happy. I would end up forgetting to buy 8 out of the 10 things I needed.
You are probably thinking well that’s not too bad. Is it? If you are a mom, you understand where I’m coming from. If you aren’t, one day you will. I haven’t slept since the day I discovered I was creating this life inside of me. I probably won’t ever have a full nights sleep again. I can’t remember the last time I slept for more than two hours at a time.
I may sound selfish, but think about it, how many people base their entire lives serving other people? I think it’s natural to feel frustrated. I went from living for myself and then doing a 180 and having my entire life revolve around another person. It’s hard.
So the next time you think being a stay-at-home mom is easy, remember it’s still a job. We don’t get to take naps, we don’t get to relax, we can’t even go to the bathroom when we need to.
I’m going to go try to finish my cold cup of coffee now.