A Letter To My Daughter During Her Last Days As An Only Child

Dear Anaís:

In a little over two months, if everything goes smoothly you will no longer be an only child. Your dad and I will be paying more attention to someone who’s littler, more fragile, and more helpless than you are. It sounds scary and upsetting but I know you’ll fit the big sister role perfectly.

Your dad and I decided to give you a sibling, not because of what we wanted for ourselves but what we wanted for you. At first you’re sister may seem annoying to you but when you’re older you will understand. When your dad and I are busy, we want you to have someone you can play with and go on imagination adventures with. When we’re on vacation we want you to have someone you can splash in the pool with and eat ice cream cones. During the summer we want you to have someone who will ride bikes with you, someone who will jump into crunchy piles of leaves with you when it’s autumn, build snowmen with you after a winter storm, and dance in the puddles during April showers. I want you to have someone that you can talk to about what it was like growing up with us as your parents. Someone you can look back on memories with. Someone who knows how crazy but loving our little household is.

You’re brave, smart, and curious. You’re a little bossy with the perfect amount of sensitivity, just like me. Since day one, you have showed us that you will be an amazing big sister. You may not see it now, but your dad and I have known this for a while. The way you rise up to challenges and conquer them, your perspective on life, and your ability to lead. I know you can take on this challenge of sharing your life with someone.

I’m not sure how you will view this challenge at first. You may be hurt, upset, or jealous, and we don’t blame you. It’s not easy sharing your life or your parents but we know you can do it. I know how independent you are but I also know how you need all of the kisses when you’re feeling upset, and how snuggles with us make you feel on top of the world. We promise those things won’t go away. However, the way you console mommy when she’s upset, rub my face, and give me kisses when I’m hormonal and sad, or how you tell me it’s going to be okay when you can tell mama is having a bad day, tells me that you’re going to do an amazing job as a big sister. I know at first it will be difficult, but I know you will want to help us change her nappies and give her baths, and even help mommy dress her up. I know my princess and I know she will adapt.

I’m not creating unreasonable expectations for you. I know it’s going to be hard. I know siblings aren’t always the best of friends and sometimes the only thing you’ll have in common is blood. However, I want you to always be kind and respect your sister and I will teach her to do the same. I won’t ask more from you than what is fair. I know this all seems unfair, but I promise you, your dad and I will be trying our best.

I will let you soak up the remainder of the time as an only child. Oh how mama and dada love you so. You taught us so much over the span of these two years and. You have taught us that it’s possible to love someone more than yourself, that it’s possible to love someone before you even meet them, and that you can love someone enough to give your life to protect them. It’s because of you that I know I can take care of a newborn, that motherhood can be challenging but I am more than capable. Thanks to you my sweet angel, I know that a baby can add challenges but dimension to your life. It is because of you that I learned how to become a mom, not always the greatest, but a mom nonetheless.

I will never forget the day we found out we were pregnant with you. I was scared, your dad and I both were. However, we wanted you. We knew we needed you in our life. If you think about it, it’s your fault. If you weren’t so unbelievably amazing, and brought so much sunshine into our lives, we wouldn’t have wanted to do this a second time.

Your first bath, the first time you ate solid food, your first teeth, your first steps, your first words, when you learned to put sentences together, when you learned how to count, and sing the alphabet song, all of those moments I’ll never forget. The first time you said “I wuv you,” or when you chased us around the house for kisses, I’ll never forget any of the moments you and I spent together.

All in all, thank you for putting up with your dad and I as we learned how to be parents during these two years. You are by far, my favorite firstborn daughter and I am forever grateful for the alone time we have spent together. I hope you will enjoy the adventures that are to come and that your sister will appreciate all that you taught us, because I know we always will.

Love,

Your mommy

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