A Letter to My Youngest Daughter on Her First Birthday

Twelve months.

Dear Baby Koala, Boobie Monster, Katy, Katya, My Lovebug,

It has been 365 days since you made your entrance and brightened up our world.

I remember your birth day like it was yesterday: your dad and I woke up at 3am, anxiously awaiting the journey ahead of us. We stopped at Dunkin’ to grab coffee for energy, but I never took more than a sip. I remember being induced and asking hundreds of questions, the pitocin worked quickly and the door was open for you to make your entrance, but you chose to wait until you were ready. You gave us a scare, because the doctors thought you weren’t prepared. We were so close to having a c-section. However, a few hours later, you were by my side.

I love that about you, you do things at your own pace and you taught me to embrace the journey. I remember your sister speeding through all of her milestones, sprouting teeth, eating solids, crawling, walking, she’s an overachiever like your dad —- haha! I’m kidding! But with you, it was different. We weren’t anxiously waiting for you to hit all of those milestones, we were patient and let you come into them on your own, and you did.

Katya, I don’t think you understand how much you taught us, and I don’t mean your father and I, but your big sis too. You enlightened us as parents in copious ways and taught us to better enjoy our days, you showed us that no two kids are alike, and that watching your kids grow really does bring a different light into your life. You taught your sister how to share, not just her toys but her parents too. You showed her how to care for someone and how fun it is to have a best friend by your side, I love watching how you both play all day, even if big sis sometimes gets carried away.

Let’s start with our breastfeeding journey and how rocky it was from the start. I remember the first time you latched and how proud I felt, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Shortly into our journey, you became very ill and we soon found out that you were allergic to dairy, eggs, and soy. Mommy gave up everything and changed her lifestyle to continue nourishing you from her own body, and if I could go back in time, I would do it again. Breastfeeding you created a bond that I never knew existed, but I’m glad I discovered.

It’s an understatement to say you’re a mamas girl and honestly, I love every second of it. At night you snuggle up to me, head on my arm, nursing, with a hand on my chest, and both legs resting on my thighs, the second I move you open your eyes and say “mama?” Oh baby girl, I promise I’ll never leave your side. I adore how you follow me around our home and tug on my pants so I can scoop you up and smother you with kisses. You make me laugh at how upset you get when big sis or dad gives me attention, you’re such a mamas girl and although some say it’s selfish, I adore being the center of your world.

I know at times I become overwhelmed, being a mom of two, is no easy thing to do. However, I wouldn’t trade my role for the world.

I love hearing you call “ma” “mama” when you know I’m in the other room, or how when I’m working out and on the floor, you lay on top of me and give me all the kisses. I love that you’re an adventurous eater just like me, it’s fun to sit down and share my meals. No one in our home likes avocados as much as you and me, but daddy and big sis are just so silly.

The first time you rolled over and when you began to laugh, the time you said “mama” and learned how to clap. How you always dance when you hear a beat, or squeal when mommy opens her ice cream. I’ll never forget when you learned how to crawl or the way you hold onto the wall, testing your balance and teaching yourself to walk. You make me laugh when you tell me your stories, and I love how you play with your big sister and make her giggle.

I love bringing you outside and watching your big bright eyes take in all of the sights, the way you laugh when you hear the birds sing and how you react when the grass tickles your feet. Eating dirt has become your favorite thing to do but not as much as when big sis chases you.

It’s only been a year, there are so many more to go. We can’t wait to celebrate with you and be by your side with all that you do!

Grateful, thankful, blessed, are only a few words that describe how mommy feels that you chose me. I love you more than the moon and the stars.

My littles cub, you have me wrapped around your finger.

Love,

Mama bear

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